Critical Evaluation

We were given two brief during the second semester of the year. The first brief was to create a 5 minute documentary of the theme of Liverpool. We were to be taken on a residential trip to the city. We worked in groups of six and each assigned job roles. My team consisted of Bethany Wilshaw who was production manager, Sarah Notman- Director, Terry Silver- Camera Operator, Abi Ramsey- video editor, Christie Rae- sound editor and I was sound recordist. We had two weeks to think of an idea for our documentary. We had various group meetings and came up with two ideas to pitch. The first idea was based around the Hillsborough disaster, we decided we wanted to make the documentary focused on the support and justice groups for the disaster. The second ideas was a mythical ghost story based in Liverpool.

We decided to go with the Hillsborough idea as it had more depth and it was an issue we all felt strongly about. After pitching the idea we decided to get planning right away as we only had a week till we would begin shooting in Liverpool. I decided to watch a number of documentaries so I was familiar with how to create a successful one of my own. I watched Oscar nominated ‘Exit through the gift shop’ and Channel 5s 'The truth about Hillsborough'. This gave me a huge amount information as well as interest and drive. Now I know more about Hillsborough I feel that I really want to make a documentary worthy for anyone involved in the ordeal. It also got me thinking about the structure of our documentary and what approach we wanted.

Bethany, the producer started to contact campaign groups and family support groups so that we had professional contributors. After a few day we began to panic as nobody was getting back to us. We had a tutorial with our course leader and module lecturer and we were told it was vital we got contributors. The planning was going well and we had come up with a basic structure: introduction to the disaster using super imposed text, interview with contributor, emotive memorial, interview.

Shortly before filming we were informed we had obtained a contributor. The contributor was Steve Kelly who is a huge figure in the ‘campaign for justice’ group. Steve Kelly had lost his brother to the disaster and was willing to share his knowledge on the fateful event. Having secured Steve made me feel a lot more confident that the end project was going to be a success.

We travelled to Liverpool on the 18^th of February. We got to the hostel and decided to have a group meeting to discuss the itinerary for the whole trip. After the group meeting we headed into the city centre and decided to get some scenery shots of Liverpool so we were able to establish where the documentary was set, we also got some filler shots that we could use when needed. As sound recordist I suggested we get some vox pops from the people of Liverpool. I was a bit apprehensive about going into the city centre and asking people about the sensitive subject. Luckily the majority of people were extremely helpful and wanted to talk about it. I managed to get a vox pop from a man who had been at Hillsborough that day and was involved in ‘the crush’.

We looked online and found there was a family support group shop set up in the local shopping centre. We decided to head over and ask if anyone involved with the group was able to give us an interview. The people in the shop said they would have to arrange it with the groups chair woman but they said it would most likely be okay. After a successful first day we went back to the hostel and had a meeting with Debbie. We told her the plans for the next days.

The second day in Liverpool was even more successful than the first. We went to the campaign for justice headquarters and met up with Steve Kelly. Steve was unable to talk to us for the first hour as he had prior engagements, but we took the opportunity to get shots inside the shop. We were given leaflets, badges, pins and posters by the volunteer in the shop. We were pleased with this lovely gesture and decided to film a few of the items. We then walked across the road the Anfield Liverpool football club grounds. Located there is a memorial for 96 who died at Hillsborough. We got lots of shots of the memorial. After this Steve was ready to talk to us. The interview was emotional and informative, as sound recorder as I used a Marantz as we didn’t want to rely on the in camera sounds. We got back to Sheffield and realised we needed more footage so we decided to shoot at Hillsborough’s football ground memorial. I also found we needed more ambient sounds so I went ad recorded some noises of Sheffield City centre.

I like the overall finished project, there are both strengths and weaknesses. I feel we dealt with the subject matter in a positive and sensitive way which is something we wanted to be really careful about. I like the contents of the documentary, I think the interviews were excellent and also im extremely pleased we got shots of the memorial as it makes the documentary a bit more emotional. Aesthetically I feel we could have improved some parts. Some of the camera shots were a bit shakey, also I would have preferred the ambience sounds to be cut. There were parts of the documentary which needed no sound at all and would have worked better without, setting a better mood and tone. Overall I was pleased with the days of shooting we had completed in Liverpool. It worked out better than I thought as people were more willing to talk and let us film. If I could do this project again I would like to get more contributors and also talk to victims and family members of the 96 who died. We were apprehensive to take this approach as we know it’s a sensitive issue for the community of Liverpool.  I feel we worked well a team, we each contributed a string of ideas and everybody was able to have a say in how the production worked.

The second brief we were given in the semester was to create a five minute drama piece surrounding the theme of ‘journey’. For this assignment we were to work in groups of six but due to lack of people our group was a five. This has neither hindered or effected the group in any way. The group consisted of Bethany Wilshaw- sound recordist, Dalena Vo- video editor, Sarah Notman- sound editor, Charlotte Taylor- Producer and cinematographer and myself as Director. I decided I wanted to take this role on as I had not had a chance to prove myself as Director which is something I feel I work best as. Straight away the group started to brainstorm ideas. I took ill with glandular fever so was taken home due to its contagiousness. I wanted to keep on top of my job role so asked the group to skype me so I had an equal part. We came up with various ideas but one stuck out to me as the best. Dalena and Bethany had come up with a basic narrative structure. The narrative idea was to be an old man who had recently lost his beloved wife. The short would show the journey of struggle. We would show how the man was coming to terms with the loss of his life long partner. I loved this idea straight away. I found it very emotional but it’s something that nearly everyone has to go through. Both of my grandparents have struggled with the issue of losing their partners. Seeing it first-hand I knew how hard it must be. Dalena wrote a basic structure for the narrative and I formatted it into a script, choosing certain shots I thought would be aesthetically pleasing.

Our producer Charlotte did an excellent job of finding a suitable actor. This was an issue I was worrying about as I knew for sure that I personally didn’t know any actors of the age group. We were extremely lucky to find our actor.

Raymond Castleton was the man for the job he looked the part and was brilliant to work with. The first day of shooting was at Charlottes Grandmothers home. This was the perfect location, it looked exactly as I had hope for. We got all the shots we needed from the house; Ray waking up, cooking breakfast and sat in the living room. This day was extremely successful and whole team left feeling optimistic and excited for the next days shoot. The next day we shot in a small quaint village called Bakewell. We were very lucky during this day of shooting as we persuaded people to contribute to our film and act in it. We were lucky enough to get an experienced actor to play the part of Rays friend who greets him the street. We finished shooting after about 4 hours and were confident we got everything we needed.

We started to edit a week after shooting everything. The whole team sat in the majority of the editing sessions as we were eager to see what the film looked like. Dalena put together a rough cut and were showed Debbie in our tutorial. Debbie said she liked the film although it was a little bit too long. She suggested bits we didn’t really need to have in so we could cut them and make the film shorter. After this tutorial I left feeling optimistic and confident that the film would be a success.

Overall I am extremely happy with how this project went. The finished project looks just how I imagined it would. We were able to use professional actors and locations. The only slight problem we were faced with was that we couldn’t find a suitable actor to play the role as Ray’s friend, this was quickly solved and we found someone. I think the group worked excellently as a team. I had no problems or issues with anyone. We had no absences and no lates, everything ran smoothly. I thoroughly enjoyed working with the people I did and feel that not only have we made a successful film but also a successful collaborating relationship. I would happily work with the team again and most definitely the cast. Our actor was a true profession, he came with a suitcase of costumes and enjoyed helping us make the film better with his suggestions. I think I took  my job role as director seriously and professionally. I enjoyed having free creative reign and being able to put my own stamp on the film.

Dalena's structure for the short

Our Narrative: Beginning

Scene: Breakfast and Morning Rotuine 

1. Raymond walks down the stairs doing his morning breakfast routine.
2. We see him cooking and humming/whistling a tune.
3. He takes two plates out of the cupboard and makes breakfast for two.
4. He realises when turning to the table he only needs one plate. He stares at the one plate; he grins and puts the other plate back into the cupboard.
5. He dishes the food from the pan onto his plate and looks at the pan to suggest there is a lot of food left over.
6. He sits down at the table where we see him eating breakfast and looking down at the seat next to him as if someone was meant to sit there.
7. We show a lot of empty space around him to visually express the loneliness and emptiness around his life. 

Scene Change: Grabbing Coat & Keys and Leaving House. 

8. He goes to the door and picks up his coat with his back turned at the camera.
9. He says ‘can you grab my keys on the … (turns sideways at camera) table (tone of voice changes to sad) … please love.
10. He grins at himself for forgetting no one is with him and takes the keys off the table and leaves the house. 

Scene Change: Bakewell 

11. He walks into a newsagent to buy a newspaper.
12. He buys his paper and walks out the shop. His friend passes him on the streets and says ‘Hello Ray, How are you coping?’
13. Ray replies with a big smile ‘Fine, fine thanks.’
14. Ray’s friend ‘Ok that looks positive, well you know where I am if you need me.’
15. Ray replies still with a big smile on his face ‘Thanks’ and walks off as he passes his friend shoulders, his big smile drops into a normal face.
16. Raymond then walks to the café and has his cup of tea. We see empty seats and an extra cup of tea as he ordered too much.
17. Ray then goes to feed the ducks and reminisce and say ‘This was your favourite thing to do love. This doesn’t feel the same without you here.’ He carries on feeding ducks and walks off.
18. Ray then goes to the pub to have a drink and sit there quietly sipping his pint and showing his face is reminiscing and thinking. Again empty seats will be placed for space and loneliness around him.
19. Ray then goes to a bench with an amazing bakewell lake view in front of him. Earlier from the newsagent he bought a newspaper and sandwich for his lunch but bought two. He takes out his sandwiches and says ‘I keep forgetting and making/buying too much food.’ He takes a bite into his sandwich and his phone starts ringing.
20. Ray takes his hands into his pocket and picks up the phone. In a frustrated voice we hear ray say ‘I am fine. Why does everyone keep asking and reminding me . . . yes, yes, I know you are here son but I don’t need checking up 24/7, I am fine . . . stop calling bye.’ Ray puts phone down rapidly and breathes out heavily to visually show frustration.
21. Have p.o.v shots of landscape from the bench Ray is sitting on. 

Our Narrative:  Middle 

22. Ray takes a look around of the couples and children playing around and spending time with one another.
23. Ray goes to his pocket and takes out his wallet. He pulls out a photo from the zip pocket of his wallet and starts rubbing the photo with his thumb. We see a CU shot of his face and how expressionless and sad he looks.
24. He looks up again at the couples and families in front of him playing and spending time with one another and starts to tear up.
25. To distract himself of the reminder and view, he takes out the newspaper to read. At the end of the newspaper, he sees an obituary from his sons written to their mum.
26. He starts to breakdown and sits on the bench hands over his face crying. 

Our Narrative: End 

27. Ray then realises he does need help from his grief.
28. He decided to ask help from his son by giving him a phone call and says in a calm, sad manor ‘I need to be around the people who are here with me and still loves me son. I need to get out of this past and move forward … ok yes please at bakewell … I will wait … thank you.’ Ray puts phone down and waits for his son to come and pick him up.
29. We see one last p.o.v shot of bakewell scenery and then fades to black. 

Idea for our drama short.

Our team got together to discuss ideas for the drama short. Unfortunately I contracted glandular fever so had to go home but I used face time so I was able to be 100% involved with everything that was going on. Finally we picked an idea of Dalena and Beths. They came up with the narrative of an old man struggling to cope with the recent loss of his wife. The themes of grief  depression, loneliness and isolation all surrounded the narrative idea.  I loved this idea and knew I could write a script. Dalena wrote a structure for the narrative so I was able to start straightaway and write the script,  formatting  it using Adobe Story.

Paper Hearts

I decided to look on BBC film network for more examples of existing short dramas and came across Rob Browns 'Paper Hearts'.

Paper Hearts is a ten minute drama short filmed in 2011.

The film shows a Father and sons dysfunctional relationship due to the Father having a secret he's reluctant to share with his son. The opening sequence shows a young boy running through a busy town centre in the sleet, an older man running after him.  The camera work is hand held and pans round to show an on looker intervening. Non diegetic music is heard from the on start of the short. The music is a sad piano sound, the screen fades to black and the title sequence appears. We then see a wide shot of the young boy and his father leaning against a wall. Close ups of the childs face show his mood is sullen and sulky. His father looks exasperated until the two share a joke and both smirk lightening to mood slightly. They soon notice the child has left his back pack somewhere in the town so they set off in search for it, the mood once again changing to irritated and dull. The use of handheld is dominant throughout the film as I feel it gives us a sense of their journey. Around 02.30 we see the child in focus whilst his father and other people around him are out of focus. This gives us the theme of isolation.

After looking for the bag they discover it's no where to be seen, the father decides he must buy a new one to ensure the boys mother doesnt find out. He leaves his son in the middle of a busy town centre to go and collect some money. This seemed odd to be as if he were to go to an ATM surely he would take his child?

We see the father walking back into an alley way an rooting through some sleeping bags. My first initial thought was that he was stealing. Sad classical violin music is played throughout this sequence which shows the audience that it's supposed to be a sad moment in the short.

The child sees his father collecting the money and stares for a number of seconds. Closeups are used to show each characters reactions. The child is in absolute shock whilst the father looks humiliated and despondent.The lighting is low key to reflect the mood and the current situation. As the child runs away in shock and disbelief he falls over and hurts his leg. The narrative continues with the father patching his childs leg up. They have a touching conversation where the father admits he thought his child would disown him. The child replies 'you are my dad', again the use of close ups show the audience the emotions of the characters. We can see the father is relieved, the short ends with Father and son walking out of shot arm in arm.

I found this short extremely touching and well shot, the writing was excellent as they didnt over use dialogue. This is something I will take into consideration when writing the script.

Before collating ideas for the drama I decided to watch and analyse existing productions so I could get a better idea of what makes a successful project.

About a Girl
Directed by Brian Percivil 2004.
During one of my seminars we watched About a Girl.
About a girl went on to win  a BAFTA award for best short film.

I was thoroughly impressed with the drama short. The short shows a young teenage girl who dreams of becoming a successful pop star. The film is set in a northern working class, low income area. The short features a variety of issues and themes such as neglection, poverty, teenage pregnancy, social deprivation  and the obsession with fame and wealth. The film is shot in documentary style, the protagonist is aware of the camera, talking to the spectators through its means. The young girl is talking in a stream of consciousness, spilling out her problems, dreams and desires. The fact she is talking to the camera leaves me feeling perhaps she has no one to talk to about personal issues.
The films title sequence is in the style of  mobile phone text,with the sound to match. This connotates the younger generation and their obsessions with technology.
The opening shot of short shows the protagonist dancing on a hill, the lighting is low key and she is silhouetted. The wind is blowing, the sky is a dull grey this is excellent use of pathetic fallacy as a sinister and quite disturbing moment is to appear at the end of the short.
Throughout the film the young girl divulges many issues and problems surrounding her life. We know her parents have split up and that her Father says shes 'too much hassle'.
We see a tracking shot following the girl on her walk down a Manchester canal, we see recent flashbacks when she is explaining her situations. Cuts to her Mother, Father and friends. Her conversation to the camera seems harmless until the last sequence. 'ive been dead good at hiding things from her since then'- We see her throw what appears to be a plastic carrier bag into the water. The carrier bag unravels and twists in water and the fetus of an unborn baby floats majestically out into the water.
The Director intended to shock the audience by using powerful and disturbing imagery.
I found myself questioning the innocence of the youth of today and also thinking about social deprivation and poverty. Wondering if children who are brought up in the latter situations have got any chance in life?

Group

For our third and final project we are to work in groups of 6 and create a 5 minute drama short conveying the notions of 'Journey'.
We are to assign ourselves job roles throughout the production and take on specific work loads and duties.

My group:
Myself- Director
Producer - Charlotte Taylor
Cinematographer - Charlotte Taylor
Sound Recorder - Beth Wilshaw
Sound Editor - Sarah Notman
Picture Editor - Dalena Vo

I decided to take on the role as director as it's something I havent had the chance of doing since starting the course. I feel directing is something that comes naturally and I know I am creative enough.
We have decided to hold group meetings to discuss what our drama will consist of.

Drama project